7 Things to Do to Get the Birth You Want

Updated 25 November 2017

1. Choose your caregiver wisely and find someone who has similar ideas about birthing as you do. Here's a list of hospitals and clinics around Korea that foreigners have recommended. This is a consumer report about birthing centers and hospitals and C-sections in Korea (It's in Korean. Try using Google Translate to translate it from Korean to Japanese and then Japanese to English. That provides the best results.) 1 is the top score and 5 is the lowest. Those that have fewer than 30 births per month aren't rated. If you want to avoid a C-section, look into places that are rated 1 or 2. Morning Calm Birthing Services has a useful chart in English that allows you to easily compare hospitals and birthing centers. Tender Embrace Birthing also has a list of all the routine prenatal checks and tests that are done in Korea.

2. Have a birth plan and make sure your doctor signs and stamps it. Here are some sample birth plans for Korea.

3. Educate yourself about options. Knowing what's out there will help you with what to expect. Watch positive birthing videos such as Organic and Orgasmic Birth or The Business of Being Born. Learn how to avoid the ring of fire when the baby is crowning. Look into using hypnosis for child birthing. Check out HypnoBirthing® and Hypnobabies®.

4. Have your partner back you up. Your partner should be there to support you and help you out when needed.


5. Get a doula. They're worth their weight in gold. While some people say that they're expensive (800,000 - 1 million is the average in Korea) research has shown that those with doulas have fewer epidurals and C-sections, which also cost money. Not to mention that there are priceless benefits such as there being a decreased chance of a forceps delivery and the mom feeling more positive about the birth. Here are some more benefits to having a doula and here's a list of doulas, breastfeeding counselors, and childbirth educators in Korea.

6. Labor at home as long as possible. The clock is your worst enemy. Once you go to the hospital the countdown begins. Many Korean doctors prefer babies to be born within 12 hours. The average for first time moms is 18 hours of active labor (active labor starts at 4 cm). That being said, trust your gut instinct. If you ever feel that something's wrong, faint, or have a lot of blood, go immediately to the hospital.

7. Be prepared to negotiate. You may not be able to get 100% of the things you ask for so be prepared to give and take a little with the medical staff. They may want you to get an enema and an episiotomy. Decide which one is more important to you. For example, you could agree to getting an enema provided that they do not do an episiotomy.


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Tender Embrace Birthing offers childbirth, breastfeeding, and newborn care classes and support.

Paternity Leave in Korea

Updated 5 September 2016

Yesterday I wrote about maternity leave in Korea. You have similar problems with maternity leave as with paternity leave. Although some employers will balk at offering you paternity leave, legally you are entitled to get it. Some employers will simply tell you no out of ignorance while others will tell you no despite the fact that they know the opposite to be true. Sometimes they will try to tell you that Saturday and Sunday count towards paternity leave. Whether or not you fight it is up to you. Here's what the laws say as far as employment insurance go. Here's some information in English.

Legally you are entitled to 5 days paid paternity leave. You get 5 days. Some places only give 3 days since they don't know the law recently changed "Act on Equal Employment and Support for Work-Family Reconciliation Article 18.2" (Paternity Leave) and became effective August 2012.

Keep in mind that while legally you are entitled to paternity leave, they may decide that you can't get it at all, or that you have to pay for a replacement, or that fighting for paternity leave may cost you your job.

Additional Time Off: Parental leave
You can take up to a year off as unpaid leave (though here it says they get 40% of their base salary with a max of 1 mil won) known in Korea as childcare leave "육 아휴직". You can legally take up to a year of unpaid leave while your child is under 6 (72 months) providing you've been with the same employer more than a year. There is a grey area surrounding teachers who are on a one year contract that have been renewed.

Paternity leave advice on EPK!

• Labor Standards 2011
• Equal Employment Act 2011
  

Paternity leave advice on AFIK

• Equal Employment Act 2011
• Labor Standards 2011

Paternity leave advice online

• 2014 Employment Policy on the Ministry of Labor's Website
• "Act on Equal Employment and Support for Work-Family Reconciliation Article 18.2" (Paternity Leave) became effective August 2012 
• Pregnancy, Maternity, Childcare Leave Info in English

General Legal Advice

• American Embassy Lawyer List
• Ask Korea Law
• ATEK had a huge list of lawyers on their Legal Resource page but no longer exists and I don't know how to find the cache of this.
• Korea Business Central
• Korean Laws in English
• Labour Board: 1350 and 031-259-0203
• Legal Office for Foreign Teachers (LOFT) Facebook group. Be sure to check out the files.
• List of Lawyers (LOFT) (Legal Office for Foreign Teachers)
• Immigration: 1345. They're open from 9 to 5pm, but closed for lunch between 12-1pm. Press 1 for Korean, 2 for Chinese, and 3 for English. Have your ARC ready because you get faster service if you enter your ARC number. 
• Kangnam Labor Law Firm
• KLAC (Korea Legal Aid Corporation) 
• Practical Advice for Legal Situations (PALS) on Facebook. Be sure to check out the files.
• Seoul Bar Association on Mondays from 2:00 to 5:00 PM has free legal advice. To get there take the subway to Seocho Station on Line #2 to Seocho Station (224) and go out exit 7. The office is behind the Hyundae Gas Station. Tel: 3476-8080.  
• Seoul Global Center: 02-2075-4138. They have lots of useful info about living in Korea. They can also exchange driver's license for Korean ones for Canadians. 
• Union TNC, Seoul, Jongro-gu, kyong eun dong, SK Building, 1st floor, Office 113. (Its by Anguk Station).Tel: 02-318-5274; Email:uniontnc@gmail.com 

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Tender Embrace Birthing offers childbirth, breastfeeding, and newborn care classes and support.

Maternity Leave in Korea

Updated 5 October 2016

Laws here seem to change all the time. I would personally error on the side of caution. Here's what the laws say as far as employment insurance go. Here's some information in English and here's a five point summary of maternity leave.

You are also entitled to shorter work hours if you're in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy or if you are 36 weeks and beyond.

The Law
Any woman (including foreigners) who has been at her job for at least a year prior to giving birth is entitled 90 days paid maternity leave (60 days are at full pay and 30 days are at partial pay, which is around 1.8 mil.). She gets 120 days if she has has multiple (75 days are at full pay and 45 days are at partial pay, which is around 1.8mil). She must fulfill both of the following requirements:

1. She's worked a year before she takes leave.
2. She's paid into the unemployment scheme for at least 180 days (I'm not sure if you can make back-payments). The employer pays her and the ministry reimburses her employer.

The Reality
Unfortunately, few women actually take the entire time. Just like with paternity leave in Korea, some employers will simply tell you no out of ignorance while others will tell you no despite the fact that they know the opposite to be true. Many women have been forced to leave their jobs or have gotten fired for being pregnant in Korea. Whether or not you fight is up to you. Many Korean women don't take maternity leave, but rather quit and become stay at home moms. Or if they do take maternity leave, they don't take the full 90 days. Legally your boss has to allow it, however, I have known people who have . . .

• not been renewed
• not been paid during maternity leave
• been made to pay their replacements
• lost their jobs (legally they can't fire you for up to 30 days after birth, after that it's fair game)

Bottom line: Have a back-up plan or two.

Additional Time Off: Parental leave
You can take up to a year off as unpaid leave (though here it says they get 40% of their base salary with a max of 1 mil won) known in Korea as childcare leave "육 아휴직". You can legally take up to a year of unpaid leave while your child is under 6 (72 months) providing you've been with the same employer more than a year. There is a grey area surrounding teachers who are on a one year contract that have been renewed.

Maternity leave laws on EPK!

• Labor Standards 2011
• Equal Employment Act 2011
  

Maternity leave laws on AFIK

• Free Medical Care for Pregnant Women
• Equal Employment Act 2011
• Labor Standards 2011

Maternity leave laws online

• 2014 Employment Policy on the Ministry of Labor's Website
• "Act on Equal Employment and Support for Work-Family Reconciliation Article 18.2" (Paternity Leave) became effective August 2012 
• Am I entitled to maternity leave? 
• Pregnancy, Maternity, Childcare Leave Info in English
• Live in Korea

General legal advice

• American Embassy Lawyer List
• Ask Korea Law
• ATEK had a huge list of lawyers on their Legal Resource page but no longer exists and I don't know how to find the cache of this.
• Korea Business Central
• Korean Laws in English
• Labour Board: 1350 and 031-259-0203
• Legal Office for Foreign Teachers (LOFT) Facebook group. Be sure to check out the files.
• List of Lawyers (LOFT) (Legal Office for Foreign Teachers)
• Immigration: 1345. They're open from 9 to 5pm, but closed for lunch between 12-1pm. Press 1 for Korean, 2 for Chinese, and 3 for English. Have your ARC ready because you get faster service if you enter your ARC number. 
• Kangnam Labor Law Firm
• KLAC (Korea Legal Aid Corporation) 
• Practical Advice for Legal Situations (PALS) on Facebook. Be sure to check out the files.
• Seoul Bar Association on Mondays from 2:00 to 5:00 PM has free legal advice. To get there take the subway to Seocho Station on Line #2 to Seocho Station (224) and go out exit 7. The office is behind the Hyundae Gas Station. Tel: 3476-8080.  
• Seoul Global Center: 02-2075-4138. They have lots of useful info about living in Korea. They can also exchange driver's license for Korean ones for Canadians. 
• Union TNC, Seoul, Jongro-gu, kyong eun dong, SK Building, 1st floor, Office 113. (It's by Anguk Station).Tel: 02-318-5274; Email:uniontnc@gmail.com 

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Tender Embrace Birthing offers childbirth, breastfeeding, and newborn care classes and support.

Walking Out Hours After Giving Birth

Over two years ago I went to Rosa's clinic where I was going to give birth and asked how long I could stay after giving birth. Rosa told me I was allowed to stay a maximum of 8 (eight!) hours, but that most people stayed between 6-8 hours. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. I couldn't understand being forced to leave so quickly after pushing a human out of my body.

I then asked if they had any wheelchairs to wheel me out on after giving birth. Now it was Rosa's turn to look at me strangely as she told me I had to walk out.

Having second thoughts
I don't know. I'll be honest, at that point I was starting to think that I was getting into something that was over my head. I mean, come on, women usually stay 3 days after giving birth vaginally, 5 days if it's a C-section. And even then they're wheeled out.

Finding out about options
I started doing more research and eventually took a birthing class with Karen. I found out that not only was it possible, but it was something that most women around the world do. Think of women in the past, who were attended by women and who thought of birth as a natural process, not a huge medical procedure. (I do recognise the fact that not all babies can be born without any medical intervention, however, I think that the medicine profession has taken over the birthing process far too much) Think of the women in the Far East who leave the rice paddies, squat, birth their baby, and walk back to the paddies with their baby on their boobs. Or women who birth in the middle of a birthing pool in their living room surrounded by their whole families. They can do it, so why can't we?

Contrast that with what many women face as a reality of being strapped to the bed, not able to move, hooked up to a number of drips and drugs, being shouted at to push while the machines beep in the background, the doctor barely looking at you as he cuts the cord and leaves. It's all so impersonal, so cold. It's not the intimate, spiritual, and emotion journey that it should be.

My daughter's birth
I found a great doula, Casey, who helped me every step of the way. Stacy also attended my birth since she was shadowing Casey at the time. Although I didn't get the exact birth I wanted due to things beyond my control (my water broke 3 weeks early due to emotional shock), I was able to avoid most interventions and did walk out of the clinic a little less than 8 hours later.

I can't describe the high I felt. It was amazing. Even though I had been in labor for about 53 hours and spent the later 18 hooked up to pitocin I felt wonderful. I'd never felt so alive and full of energy. Not only did I walk out unassisted, but I was pretty much painfree other than the tugging I felt from the stitches. I wanted to walk out holding my daughter, but Rosa wouldn't let me. Still being able to walk out instead of being wheeled to the car was an incredible feeling.

The problem we have to deal with
Unfortunately we have Hollywood and the media to thank for our distorted views on birth that is so ingrained on us after years and years of watching tv. The number 1 surgery performed in the US is a C-section. Approximately 1 out of 3 babies in the USA (and Korea) are delivered via C-section. This number far greater than the WHO recommended rate of 10%-15%. which is about the same as the C-section rate in Korea. Sadly, many of these C-sections are unnecessary. One way to avoid C-sections is to stop unnecessary interventions.

More Resources for C-sections

• C-Sections: An Easy Way Out
• C-Section: How to Avoid, Prepare for, and Recover From Your Cesarean 
• C-Section Rate Stable for Third Year, New Report Shows
• C-Section Rates Vary Across US Hospitals
• The Essential C-Section Guide
• Why the National US C-Section Rate is So High

You can change all that
There are a number of things you can do to get the birth you want. It's your birth, you should be able to choose what you want to do. Walking out shortly after giving birth is totally a possibility.


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Tender Embrace Birthing offers childbirth, breastfeeding, and newborn care classes and support.

Breastfeeding in Public in Korea

Updated 5 September 2016

I was recently asked what Koreans think about breastfeeding in public. I have to say that only once have I had an issue with it. I have no qualms about breastfeeding in public and have done so on the subway, bus, and even walking down the street cradling my daughter when she was sleeping. My daughter's almost 2 and a half and I'm still breastfeeding. In Korean age she's 4 and I think that some Koreans believe that breastfeeding until Korean age 2 is ok, but after that it's not.

Breastfeeding Lounges
Many department stores, immigration offices, some restaurants, as well as some train stations will have breastfeeding lounges. They can run from basic to very nice. They'll have things such as changing tables, microwaves, fridges, cribs, wipes, and even scales. Here's a map of breastfeeding lounges throughout Seoul. This is not a complete map.

Problems with Breastfeeding in Public
Which brings me to the one time I have had an issue with breastfeeding in public. We were on the subway and I started to breastfeed her and an old lady asked how old she was and I said she was 3. She proceeded to do the flapping hand thing and say something about age 2. So I did the flapping hand thing as well and told her to go away. She in Korean and me in English. I don't understand Korean, but I'm pretty sure the jist of it was that my daughter was too old to breastfeed according to her. Even though I nursed my daughter until she was almost 4 (western), I did it less and less in public as she got older.

Koreans are Open to Breastfeeding
Many older people will actually tell you to breastfeed. I remember being on the subway when she was a baby and them telling me that she was hungry and that I should feed her. I've also been assisted by a random ajumma in the sauna with latching. It can be annoying, all the unwanted advice you get. It's just cultural. They do it to Koreans as well. They're trying to help and they mean well.

I have found that nursing seems to be more talked about with the older generation. And by that, I've found that they want to give you advice. But that might be a generation gap issue with older people offering more advice in general, ex, your baby's too cold, or too hot, or too whatever. 

There are nursing rooms in subway stations, department stores, zoos, kids' cafes, immigration offices, and even some of the new subway trains have them. They're very nice, some have multiple rooms with changing areas, nursing areas, sink, microwave, etc. Some are more basic and just have a table and chair.

Koreans' Reactions to Breastfeeding
I know that some women try to cover up and use nursing covers. Those seem to work for the first couple of months and then babies want to see what's going on and will push it off. There are other options, such as nursing in a wrap or carrier, or using your hand or scarf to cover up a bit. Just like you wouldn't like eating under a blanket, many babies don't like it either.

I've heard of some good come back from women who are told to cover up. Some are nicer than others. One of my favorites is when I woman is offered a blanket and she tells the person thanks, but she doesn't need it and they're welcome to use it to cover their eyes if they'd like to.

I have never, ever been stared at. When people realize you're breastfeeding they tend to divert their eyes and look away. There are many, many articles about breastfeeding in public, or nursing in public (NIP) out there. Here's one from Double Think called Every Argument about NIP Debunked. It has photos, so you might not want to view it at work. I personally like the warrior photo.

Breastfeeding Legalities: legally during the first 12 months after giving birth you are either allowed to come an hour late, leave an hour early, or given an hour two 30 minute sessions to pump at work. Here is some useful links. All docs are from 2011.

• the Act on Equal Employment Support for Work-Family Reconciliation in English 
• the Act for Equal Employment Support for Work-Family Reconciliation in Korean 
• the Labor Standards in English. 

The Acts for Equal Employment have all maternity, paternity, and childcare laws. However, laws are not always followed here. You may be given a closet to pump in or told to go to the bathroom.



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Tender Embrace Birthing offers childbirth, breastfeeding, and newborn care classes and support.